You see this beautiful beast of computer right here? For those of you that are either blind or plain ole console scum, this is the Alienware Area-51 Gaming Desktop.

While this computer realistically only gets you to middle class in the PC Master Race, it is still a thousand million billion times better than any conventional personal computer that you would purchase at a retail store. Then below regular PCs we have gaming consoles like the PS4 and Xbox 1 which represents the lowest level of gaming. Think of it like comparing when you had toy cars as a child, to now when you have an actual vehicle. Gaming consoles are essentially toys for children, so this review will not use them as a reference point.

The first reason why it’s not a child’s toy is because the price tag on just the base model is $1,699.99 straight from Dell, with the top model weighing in at a modest $3,799.99. To you kids out there, that’s about the price of 425 40oz bags of gummy bears at your local Walmart. What kids will fail to understand about a computer of this magnitude is that it’s more about making a statement – I have a huge dick and I have an over-priced computer to prove it.

The second reason why it’s not a child’s toy is because it’s too massive for a child to handle. Seriously, this puppy basically has a height and depth of almost two feet, and it’s nearly a foot wide. According to Dell’s website, the base model clocks in at 60lbs, which is actually around the average weight of a 10 year old boy.

The third reason why it’s not a child’s toy is because it comes out of the box equipped with Windows 10. To those that are unacquainted, Windows 10 is so frustratingly awful that anyone under the age of 15 would have a guaranteed temper tantrum while trying to perform normal computer operations. However, anyone looking to not use their brain while on the computer, Apple has the perfect devices for you.

The last reason why the Area-51 is out of the league of the average gamer kid is because of the tech specs, literally. All the parts on the computer were hand-picked to ensure that all the numbers involved are too high for your average Minecrafter to comprehend. Intel Core i7-6800k Processor, good luck wrapping your mind around that enormous number. 8GB of DDR4 memory? I’m still learning 1+1. You can see where this is going so the 2TB hard drive can be excluded.

In conclusion, if you are someone that is into gaming on a real desktop computer <strong>AND</strong> has an urge to flex their giant e-peen, then this computer is right up your alley. The Alienware Area-51 computer is designed for the person that wants to leapfrog their way into mid-tier PC Master Race territory, while also effectively making sure their bank account doesn’t overflow with money.